How to find a good therapist?

The foundation of any kind of  Therapy or Counselling  is the relationship you establish with the therapist. Research has shown that the technique the therapist uses is not as important as the relationship you build together. As therapy progresses and trust is established, you will actually use the relationship between you and your therapist as a workspace, to resolve problems in your life.

Because the relationship with the therapist is so essential to the process, it is important to find a therapist to whom you feel connected, with whom you feel safe. In any kind of Therapy or Counselling, you intentionally make yourself deeply vulnerable to another human being. That is a very frightening assignment indeed. But you must realize it is this very process of self revealing and trust building that can be the means of your healing. At the end of this frightening and difficult path lies the inner wholeness you long for.

Obviously, if you are to make yourself so vulnerable, you must feel safe. A good therapist builds that sense of trust and safety with you.

The process of creating a “safe space” in which therapy can take place is referred to as building a “secure frame,” and it is a very important aspect of therapy.

The “frame” is the environment of your therapy. It includes the physical surroundings, the emotional environment, the therapeutic structure, and the relationship between you and your therapist.

A secure frame is a very special private space in which you feel safe, “held” and supported. A secure frame is an environment in which every detail reflects structure, safety, and support. Psychodynamic therapists believe that the secure frame is a vital element of the therapy.

But what are the personal, individual skills and traits that characterize a good therapist?

In my opinion life experience and how somebody learns from it in order to grow personally makes him becoming a “good” and “trustable” therapist. Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross describes that in perfect words, talking about “the most beautiful people” who are in my eyes also the “best therapists”:

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Experience Life under the Guidance of God

Experience Life under the Guidance of God


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