The Wounds of War

Veteran Day just passed and there were discussions again about how psychologists may help with PTSD. Some people argued that only a person who has overcome this disorder him/herself would be equipped with the right tools to help others in that field.

I DISAGREE !

But I think it is necessary for a psychologist or psycho therapist to dive deeply into the topic of war itself to be able to understand a veteran.

War accompanied me my whole life long because I’m part of the generation touched by this topic through parents, grandparents and great grandparents. From a systemic point of view some members of the generations before me in a systemic way expected me to finish some of their unfinished businesses as soldiers during war times. Bert Hellinger (Systemic Family Constellation Therapy / Acknowledging what is / Movements of the Soul) said it would not be unusual for a little child to dream about unknown and scary things that have to do with war whenever the ancestors were involved in those terrible events. Dr. Mahr tells us the story about a 4-year-old girl with sleeping problems about monsters attacking her. Art therapy showed that this girl war drawing a gas mask like it was used in WWI in Verdun during the poisonous gas attacks. It turned out that two of her relatives, two generations ago were wounded April 24th 1915; she was born on April 24th 1991.

I had nightmares for over 20 years from early years on and they were always the same. I was a male soldier in an infantry troop and we were walking through a bush. We just wanted to leave the protection of the trees when suddenly there was a loud noise and we had to quickly lay down because tanks were rolling along a gravel road that was on one side framed by the bush and on the other side by open field. My first reaction was to freeze and stare at the big chains only perhaps 1 metre away from me. Then after the last tank has passed our commander yelled the order to cross the open field as quickly as we can. My heart was racing, I was sweating and I started to run. There were shells going down everywhere around me, my head was hammering and I started crying while I was running. I was praying “please let me get out of here, please help me, please”; I was so scared and then something hit me. There was so much pain and I knew I would die…. and I woke up. It always took me hours to fall asleep again. Everything was so real. I didn’t talk about it because war still put pressure on my parents. The dreams ended after a Systemic Family Constellation that allowed me to honour my ancestors for their courage to fight and give their lives for their country and asking them to let me go on with my life here and now.

My mother told me about the bomb attacks, the loud sirens interrupting her sleep sometimes several times during the night, her claustrophobic fear in the dark little air raid shelters and the consistent worries about leaving the shelter and only seeing fragments of what has been her home. Since those experiences she was a nervous wreck and it got worse with every year because the more she tried to forget about it the more it surfaced. Of course I didn’t understand it at that time. I was only wondering why my bedroom had to be darkened in addition to our blinds with duct tape.

My father refused to talk about the topic “war” but his mother, my grandma told me her traumatic story again and again: “I met your grandpa when I was working at a little bed and breakfast as a housemaid. He left a little note under the mattress and I answered it and left it there for him. A fascinating exchange of nice words started and it took two weeks till he asked me out for dinner. He had an administrative job but his passion was the piano and so he accompanied the still movies as a pianist. We only had a short carefree and happy time together because the war started and he was called up to join the infantry. We quickly married and I soon was pregnant with your father and after my husband was home during his first leave I got pregnant with your uncle. There was nobody with me when I gave birth to my sons and I always was scared that your grandpa couldn’t see his boys any more. But he came home for another leave and we spent happy days together with our children. Before he left he wrote me a poem saying that I should wait for him because he promised to come back. But he didn’t. They informed me that he was missing in Russia. Shortly after I got this terrifying message we were ordered to pack what we can carry and leave our home town because the Russian troops were coming closer and closer and where they have been they had raped women and killed the residents of whole villages. So, I said good-bye to everything I loved and filled a back pack with the most necessary items for survival. I grabbed the hands of my sons and rushed to the railway-station. There were so many people who wanted to flee from the Russians that we lost our first fight to get on the train. So we laid down among all the other people and tried to sleep because the next train would not arrive until tomorrow. I never let go of my sons’ hands because children could got lost so easily in that crowd of hundreds of people. I was praying to God all the time. The next day we caught the train out…..” After losing everything my grandma started her new life in Rosenheim (the city I was born), in a street called “New Home” No. 1. My father and my uncle had to grow up without a father and a traumatic experience they both wanted to forget. 11 years after the war my grandma found out from the Russian White Cross that her beloved husband had died in a Russian Prisoner of War Camp…..

Years later as a teenager I suddenly became very interested in everything about the Vietnam War. I didn’t know why but I researched whatever I could find about the soldiers and nurses who have been there. I cried about their stories and everything seemed so close and touching as if there was a connection to those people who lived across the ocean from me. I was angry at all the Americans at home who wouldn’t welcome the veterans as heroes who risked their lives for their country and I was angry at the US Government because they killed their own people “by mistake” and chemicals like Agent Orange. I was angry that all the doctors and nurses were forgotten who served the same courageous way as the soldiers. I was touched by the USO shows in combat zones to help the soldiers to at least get away from all the cruelty for some hours.

After all that I feel much closer to a veteran than many psychologist who only learned about therapies and their techniques theoretically.

It’s fact that nobody can erase or forget a traumatic experience and/or mortal terror but it can be released and healed so that it can be remembered without the emotional involvement that is so overwhelming and destroying.

The best therapies for PTSD are EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Systemic Constellations. They both are quick and solution oriented and can be applied gently.

Dear Veterans, I would like to encourage you to give those therapies a try and put an end to being haunted by trauma for the rest of your life! I’m proud of you!

Call for your Skype Session now! Phone 204-636-7787!

 

 

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The Power of Animal Totems

Have the Courage to Soar like an Eagle

Have the Courage to Soar like an Eagle (picture of a California Condor - sacred for the Native Americans, majestic soaring as high as 15000 feet)

Animal Totems were guiding people in all cultures, but like the knowledge about herbs or smudging, the knowledge about the Power of Nature and Animals got lost. Here in Manitoba I found out that my Guide is the Eagle. Whenever I need some advice on life questions, the Eagle appears and reminds me of the qualities and values I have to take care of and live in accordance to them because otherwise I would compromise my true Self.

The EAGLE is a symbol of freedom and perspective. As a representation of Great Spirit, Eagle carries our prayers to the sky and teaches us to fly.

  • People with eagle medicine need their alone time. This gives them the opportunity to confront their fears and be honest with themselves. Eagle may be showing himself to them to remind them of the necessary time they need in solitude before they are able to take flight.
  • Because of their great beauty and grace people may see Eagle-people as a threat, but they shouldn’t let others intimidation’s hold them back from flying like an eagle.
  • With their great vision people with Eagle medicine may also be looked upon as mentors by others whether they actively seek this role in a traditional sense or not be aware that others look up to them. Eagle people have great wisdom to share.
  • To those to whom Eagle comes, the ability to hear spiritually and psychically will awaken’re given potent gifts of clarity and vision to use for the good of all people helping to bring forth the light out of the darkness.
  • Opportunities are coming to them that will enable Eagle people to reach new heights and therefore they should always be aware they are coming and have the courage to grab them.
  • The Eagle teaches them to be free to say what they want to say or do and helps them to release themselves from what others think and do what they need to for their growth and development.
  • Those with eagle medicine choose mates carefully but when they do it’s for life. If they give their best and value to themselves expecting the best for themselves, they will attract a mate who feels the same.
  • Eagle is a reminder of our connection to spirit. Eagle people spend some time in meditation and nature reconnecting to source.

EAGLE PRAYER

Eagle with courage your soar
Showing me the heights I am capable of reaching
In balance my connection to the spiritual and physical
I grace the Earth but I am truly free when I fly
Courage you are mine
 
 

Reiki & Grief

Angel of LoVE

ANGEL OF LOVE AND HEALING

As I started my Reiki experience after the death of my father, I know that Reiki is the most HELPFUL and COMFORTING THERAPY for GRIEF ever!

Comforting because it makes griefing and mourning “legal” and allows the client to show and release all the sadness and desperation. Whereas  in our Western culture most people tend to acknowledge physical wounds but neglect emotional ones. There were times when it was expected that a family goes into mourning for at least a year after the death of someone close, but today you hear neighbours, friends and even relatives saying:”Come on, get over it! Life goes on!”.

But losing somebody very close often means losing part of the soul and psychatrist Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross discovered FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF in her research on death and dying:

  • DENIAL
  • ANGER
  • BARGAINING
  • SORROW
  • ACCEPTANCE

There will be times all of the thoughts and emotions will be mixed together or piled on another. There will be times all of the thoughts and emotions are overwhelming at the same time or in quick succession. And there could be times one of the stages is present for a matter of weeks or even months. And everybody is different, goes through the stages in a different way and needs a different time to get to the stage of ACCEPTANCE and finally HEALING.

The two most important values and strengths in life are FAITH and HOPE. Faith means to belief into a HIGHER POWER (Spirit, God, Buddha, Allah etc.) and its GUIDANCE and it means to stay connected to it through PRAYER and MEDITATION. This again leads to hope and hope means HEALING.

REIKI helps the client to release the mixed emotions and calm down the thoughts. It helps to relax the body to let go the muscle tensions. It often makes it possible for the client to have a dream or vision about the lost person being safe and happy surrounded by a bright divine light. And it’s possible to send important affirmations through the Reiki SYMBOLS, like

I deeply and completely accept myself with all my sadness, tears and desperation
I allow myself to go through all the stages of grief  knowing that’s a natural process
I’m going easy on myself and take the time I need to recover without guilt

Those affirmation can be tapped with EFT of course. And after the two first Reiki treatments it is very helpful for the clients to let them know about this wonderful technique for EMOTIONAL FREEDOM and show them how to use it at home.

The following TESTIMONIAL comes from one of my clients who became a very good friend meanwhile:

Monika Lux is an angel – My experience with EFT and Reiki Treatment.
My problem was GRIEF because of the loss of my partner after 38 years. This grief had my mind in many states including: FEAR of my future, ANGER at God and some people, CONFUSION, memory problems, FEELINS of ABANDONMENT by people I thought were my friends or my family and HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.
Thanks to some very close friends who helped to guide me through the hardest days and thanks to Monika Lux who finally guided me through EFT sessions and the relaxing treatments of REIKI!
 
My first REIKI Session:     
I was not sure of what to expect as I layed on the firm but very comfortable Reiki bed, candles were burning and a faint smell of incense in the air. I was made comfortable and I asked what I was to think about. Monika told me to try to just relax, close my eyes and not to think about anything in particular. So, I tried to think of nothing – not possible. Low soothing music playing, very relaxing; I was still trying to clear my mind – not working. Suddenly I feel acute pain in my left wrist and ankle at the same time (both had old injuries), but the pain went away as fast as it had occured. The next thought was that I had finally achieved the state of no thoughts, when my brain started to get all sorts of thoughts from what seemed to be outside of my own brain. This occured momentarily. Then my thought was normal again. My next awareness was that I was able to feel my heart beating in my chest and I could hear it in my ears.
The session took an hour and after this Reiki Treatment I felt more relaxed than I have ever felt before in my life.
 I enjoyed some more Reiki Sessions after this first one – Thank you and angels to Monika
 A.R.L. from Sandy Lake, Manitoba